amelie.

amelie is one of my favorite movies. watching it tonight, this quote hit home.

you know when you're a crazy girl and you make up stories for why he hasn't called you back? or written back? or texted back? or whatever.

you know.

from amelie, the narrator speaking:

"Nino is late. Amelie can only see two explanations. 1 - he didn't get the photo. 2 - before he could assemble it, a gang of bank robbers took him hostage. The cops gave chase. They got away... but he caused a crash. When he came to, he'd lost his memory. An ex-con picked him up, mistook him for a fugitive, and shipped him to Istanbul. There he met some Afghan raiders who too him to steal some Russian warheads. But their truck hit a mine in Tajikistan. He survived, took to the hills, and became a Mujaheddin...

Amelie refuses to get upset for a guy who'll eat borscht all his life in a hat like a tea cozy." 

love love love this.

hope.

faithful.

There's distance in the air and I cannot make it leave
I wave my arms 'round about me and blow with all my might
I cannot sense you close, though I know you're always here
But the comfort of you near is what I long for

When I can't feel you, I have learned to reach out just the same
When I can't hear you, I know you still hear every word I pray
And I want you more than I want to live another day

And as I wait for you, I am made more faithful

All the folly of the past, though I know it is undone
I still feel the guilty one, still trying to make it right
So I whisper soft your name, let it roll around my tongue
Knowing you're the only one who knows me
You know me

Show me how I should live this
Show me where I should walk
I count this world as loss to me
You are all I want

{brooke fraser}

top 10 tuesday | things you should not do on a plane

I travel a lot. a lot a lot.

in my previous job I was on an airplane at least every 2 weeks.

now, not as much, which I am thankful for. 7 years of rigorous travel left me with a lot of airline miles, slight vertigo, an ability to sleep anywhere, an aversion to the combo of "chicken or pasta", and a lot of helpful tips for things not to do on airplanes.

which I will share with you now.

the top 10 things you should not do on airplanes. for the sake of all traveling humanity.

1. you should not eat beef jerky and/or any other equally smelly food.

2. you should not spray anything. not perfume. not hairspray. not air freshener. nothing sprayable should be sprayed on an aiplane.

3. you should not talk really loud when people are trying to sleep. especially if you speak a different language than the majority of the rest of the airplane.

4. you should not listen to your movie, tv show, music, or play a video game without headphones on.

5. you should not wake someone up next to you because you have to go to the bathroom. you got the window seat, so you have to deal.

6. you should not ask for a complicated drink. this is not a bar. keep it simple. I mean, how often do you mix your sodas at home?

7. you should not bring a bag so heavy that you cannot lift it into the luggage compartment yourself.

8. you should not ask someone to trade seats with you if you have a middle and they have an aisle or window. regardless of who you're trying to sit beside. you should've worked that one out with the gate agent.

9. you should not talk on your cell phone while trying to board the plane, find your seat, be seated, put your things away, and try to put your seat belt on. there's too much happening there, and someone's gonna get ticked.

10. you should not hold up the security line. wear appropriate shoes. take your laptop out of the bag. keep your pockets clear. take off the fake jewelry. 3 ounces or less. this is not rocket science people.

leaf.

have we all discovered yet that fall is my favorite season?

well, here's more proof.

a pictorial ode to fall leaves.

you see, my mom, who is the only person who reads this blog, likes to collect fall decor. turkeys, pilgrims, pumpkins, leaves... the whole collection of anything autumn/thanksgiving related. it's really cute and it makes me think of her when I see those things while I am out shopping.

and I have a sister who did a fall theme for her wedding, complete with decorative ceramic pumpkins at each place setting for people to take home souvenirs.

so you see. I have an eye for autumn decor. it runs in the family. so here's a little collection of some adorable, enchanting, cool-weather joy inducing images that make me want to carve a pumpkin, drink apple cider, and watch football.

enjoy!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

trader joes.

my favorite grocery store. and why...

bench.

God. I love fall.

who would like to sit on this bench with me? with coffee?

and talk about how much we love fall?

airplane.

I've spent the past few days on airplanes.

actually I've spent the past few years on airplanes.

it's a bit of a love/hate thing. I enjoy traveling. I like seeing new places, visiting old friends, having energizing meetings about the future.

I also love home. the comforts. the ease. the familiarity. everything I need at my fingertips.

airplanes are funny experiences. on this most recent trip I composed a top 10 list of things not to do on an airplane. wait for that to come on tuesday.

they're funny because it's this group of people who are thrown together for a certain amount of time. 15 minutes (denver to colorado springs) or 15 hours (l.a. to taiwan). I like to think sometimes, what if I had to be with these people for the rest of my life... what would happen? who would hook up? who would lead the group? who would go crazy?

I don't really have a point to this post. except this.

when I arrived at DFW 2 days ago, I picked up my bag at baggage claim. as I was walking away, I noticed this sweet couple, maybe in their late 30's, mixed race - asian and latino. they were both on my flight. they picked up their bags and then they asked someone to take a photo of them in front of the baggage terminal. they were smiling so big and so excited to have their photo taken. it made me stop for a moment and ponder on that.

before that moment, I was thinking... where are the rental cars? where is my bag? do I have directions to the hotel? I'm tired. I wish I had time to change clothes. I wish DFW wasn't so big. why do people stand so close to me? etc. etc.

you get the picture.

and then I noticed them. and I thought to myself. what in the world is making them so happy about baggage claim? so much so as to document it in a photograph?

and then I thought. why not?

as long as it makes them happy.

luis.

I just sponsored luis santiago through world vision.

world vision is a christian non-profit organization that invites people to sponsor children who are part of their development programs worldwide. through sponsorship, you can see your child's photo, learn about their family, write letters to them and receive letters from them. sponsorship supports world vision's education, vocational, and faith-based programs, so that not only your child is impacted - but their community, their nation, and the world.

it costs $35 per month. I figure that I spend that on coffee every month. and luis is much more precious than coffee.

much more.

just look at him. he's 2. and very cute.

he lives in a poor area of colombia, which is a country close to my heart.

I have been sponsoring martha in ecuador for about 5 years now through compassion international, an organization I also love. through my work, we've been partnering with world vision and this is one of the main projects I work on. yesterday I was inspired in a fresh way to sponsor...

and so, hello luis! welcome to my family!

you can sponsor a child too.

www.worldvision.org

shop.

just discovered this super cute and yummy home decor web site. everything is on sale. if you click here you get an instant $15 shopping credit. check out ONE KING'S LANE.

www.onekingslane.com/invite/ShannonKozee

half of my heart.

I was born in the arms of imaginary friends
Free to roam, made a home out of everywhere I've been
Then you come crashing in, like the realest thing
Trying my best to understand all that your love can bring

Oh half of my heart's got a grip on the situation
Half of my heart takes time
Half of my heart's got a right mind to tell you
That I can't keep loving you
Oh, with half of my heart

I was made to believe i'd never love somebody else
I made a plan, stay the man who can only love himself
Lonely was the song I sang, 'til the day you came
Showing me a better way and all that my love can bring

Oh half of my heart's got a grip on the situation
Half of my heart takes time
Half of my heart's got a right mind to tell you
That I can't keep loving you
Oh, with half of my heart
With half of my heart

Your faith is strong
But I can only fall short for so long
Time will hold, later on
You will hate that I never gave more to you than half of my heart
But I can't stop loving you
But I can't stop loving you
But I can't stop loving you with half of my...

Half of my heart
Half of my heart

Half of my heart's got a real good imagination
Half of my heart's got you
Half of my heart's got a right mind to tell you
That half of my heart won't do

Half of my heart is a shotgun wedding to a bride with a paper ring
And half of my heart is the part of a man who's never really loved anything

Half of my heart...

{john mayer}

the town.

I went to see ben affleck's new movie "the town" last night. thought it was really well done as his second directorial piece. now I really want to see the first movie he directed, "gone baby gone".

the premise of the story is a group of friends that live in charlestown, a rough and tough Boston suburb neighborhood of blue collar workers, and as the movie portrays - bank robbers, car thieves, and drug dealers.

a group of 4 friends robs banks together. they hit up one that happens to have a lovely and ethereal bank manager that loves around the corner from them. the well-ripped and soft-hearted former hockey player, ben affleck, falls for her in the process of making sure she doesn't rat on them to the FBI.

the love story is super sweet. the tattoos are super foxy.

I really enjoyed the dynamics of the the friend relationships - more like family than just friends - of this group of men who grew up together. the film does a nice job of digging into the hearts and minds of dougie (ben) and his best friend.

the film also did a good job of dramatizing the cycle of crime that is rampant in these societal-fringe communities where kids grow up surrounded with drugs and alcohol and sex and other things that can set a life down a destructive path. a poignant moment is when doug's dad compares his mom, who left when he was a child, to all the other teen moms who don't want their kids that doug sees around him. she was no better than them. his dad tells him to stop idolizing her realize that nothing has changed in the community even after all that time.

my favorite part of the film is affleck's character. I love a good story about a presumed tough guy who is really a softie at heart. who has ambitions. who makes small yet good decisions, like not drinking. who takes crap from his mates because 1. he can take it and 2. he knows its worth it and 3. he knows they love him anyway. that's manly. knowing his range of character - really good to really naughty, makes him feel more human and relatable.

I think the movie is a good mix of good will hunting's emotion and the departed's clever shoot 'em up style.

go see it.

fall.

not autumn. different kind of fall this time.

I've been having falling dreams a lot for the past 2 weeks. I talked to my boss / new psychiatrist about it this evening. I told her I was attributing it to vertigo side effects.... too many airplanes. while I do have slight vertigo issues, like zero balance (hello, high heeled shoes), she suggested a different reasoning.

usually falling dreams have something to do with things that are out of control. or things that you are letting go of. she said.

I told her she was probably right.

maybe it has nothing to do with the 8 hour plane ride home from spain.

maybe it has everything to do with letting go of something that is out of my control.

maybe.

side note. I fell asleep on the plane today and had a dream that I fell asleep on a plane, and was woken up when the pilot came over the intercom and said "ok people, we're going to just speed up for a little bit here, so hold on." and then he slammed on the plane's "accelerator" and we all hit the backs of our seats from the force. and I woke up, from my dream within my dream. 

it was like my own personal inception film. 

I'm actually not sure I'm even awake right now.

is this is a dream within a dream within a dream?

top 10 tuesday | favorite scents

I love to smell good and to smell yummy things.

you know when someone walks by you too close on an airplane and they kinda smell? that's like my worst fear/pet peeve. come on people, project nice aromas into this world, please. for us all.

so for top 10 tuesday this week I've compiled a list of all my favorite things to smell.

5 manufactured scents and 5 natural scents.

1. a baby. they smell so delicious when they are all clean and snuggly.

2. fresh bread baking in the oven. 

3. the mountains in the fall. when the air is clean and crisp and smells like leaves and wind.

4. the air after a rainstorm.

5. the seaside.

6. vanilla bean candle by henri bendel.

7. old spice sport deodorant. sigh.

8. voluspa yuzu rose candle. this smells like a memory to me.

9. flowerbomb perfume.

10. maison de vanille body spray. (love anything vanilla).

church with a view.

I thought I might start a series of posts about my favorite photos of all time.

I have a computer full of photos and memories that should be shared. because these memories make life sweet and full. they make me happy and I thought they might make you happy too. I'm going to attach a photo below and use the first one to pop up from the ones I've selected to feature.

let's see what story we get today...

 

ooh an easy one. only my favorite view in the whole world. 

el panecillo - the virgin of quito seen from the voto nacional basilica in quito, ecuador - the country of my heart.

God I love this view.

if you ask me why ecuador is my favorite country in the world, I don't really know what to tell you. it's just a combination of all the memories, the people, the experiences, the food, the language, the culture, the beauty, the pain, and everything in the middle. I've been to ecuador 5 or 6 times and every time try to see this view.

I even bought a guayasamin print that hangs in my bedroom of downtown quito. 

it looks a bit like this one:

 

so, the particular visit to ecuador that the above view was taken on was my second time to the country. this was a work trip, with operation christmas child, where I was hosting some special guests from a convention called catalyst that takes place in atlanta each year. we were showing these guys how the shoe box ministry works in ecuador, along with my favorite south american friend of all time - jonhattan constante, who is the regional manager for latin america for occ. but that's another story for another day.

before the special guests arrived, my co-worker and I had a little time to sneak downtown and check out the sights. this sight, being the best of all of them. this shot is taken from the very tip top of the basilica. as far up as you can climb. as close to heaven as you can get in quito.

music monday | love is waiting

In the autumn on the ground

Between the traffic and the ordinary sounds

I am thinking signs and seasons while a north wind blows through


I watch as lovers pass me by


Walking stories

Whos and hows and whys

Musing lazily on love

Pondering you

I'll give it time, give it space and be still for a spell

When it's time to walk that way 

We wanna walk it well

I'll be waiting for you baby

I'll be holding back the darkest night


Love is waiting 'til we're ready, 'til it's right

Love is waiting

It's my caution not the cold

There's no other hand that I would rather hold

The climate changes

I'm singing for strangers about you

Don't keep time

Slow the pace


Honey hold on if you can


The bets are getting surer now that you're my man

I could write a million songs about the way you say my name

I could live a lifetime with you 

And then do it all again

And like I can't force the sun to rise 

Or hasten summer's start

Neither should I rush my way into your heart

{brooke fraser}

holding back.

It is sometimes well to use a little restraint even in good desires and inclinations, lest through too much eagerness you bring upon yourself distraction of mind; lest through your lack of discipline you create scandal for others; or lest you be suddenly upset and fall because of resistance from others. Sometimes, however, you must use violence and resist your sensual appetite bravely. You must pay no attention to what the flesh does or does not desire, taking pains that it be subjected, even by force, to the spirit. And it should be chastised and forced to remain in subjection until it is prepared for anything and is taught to be satisfied with little, to take pleasure in simple things, and not to murmur against inconveniences.

-Thomas a Kempis

sing it.

if I find in myself desires
nothing in this world can satisfy
I can only conclude that I
I was not made for here
if the flesh that I fight is at best
only light and momentary
then of course I'll feel nude
when to where I'm destined I'm compared

{c.s. lewis song by brooke fraser}

jet lag.

you know those 5-hour energy drink commercials that say "fight that 2:30 feeling"? you never know the true depth of that feeling until you have jet lag. waking up at 4:30 every morning this week doesn't feel so great around 2:30 or 3 everyday. ugh.

the trip.

my much-anticipated european holiday is over already. it was lovely. not restful. but exciting. and filled with fun and laughs and new experiences and lots of joy. it was a great time. what more can I say?

here are my favorite 10 photos from the trip. just a little snapshot for you. in case you're not interested in looking through all 200 or so I posted on facebook. no? ok fine. well, here's 10.

our little pueblo of bidania, spain, where the wedding was held.

los novios preciosos!

the ceiling of la sagrada famlia, gaudi's masterpiece cathedral in barcelona.

just some random street in barcelona's gothic quarter.

declare love. it's a good feeling.

the girls eating up some gelato in barca.

precious eloy, godson of new british friend matt. cutest baby in spain. maybe the world?

beach day at cagnes-sur-mer, france.

carley gets her bearings in saint tropez.

this is the one and only reason we drove to italy. dinner. pasta. done.

you prefer buildings.

And after the wait

I had to bring out the pretty rippled glasses

And fill them up with red wine

To stop the pounding

Or mute it, anyway

Liquid confidence

And then I saw you drive by

Breezing into my life, my quiet town

Just for a few hours

You seemed shorter

But you felt the same

And your smile made me feel a bit unglued

And reminiscent

But I held it together

A little glow came back

And it made me remember what chemistry feels like

That I am capable of feeling it

Feeling anything

But especially that feeling

We ate

We smiled

We laughed

You winked

I wondered

We stared

Just a little bit

And then got shy

And looked at our plates instead

I wanted to take your hand

And wrap my arm around your waist

But I didn’t

Because you’re not mine

And I wanted to show you all the things in my home, my life

The things you missed

People I love

People who are mine

Who take my love and give it back

Who want it

They’re lucky, cause it’s good

You made my heart crash

So high and so low

So fast, just a few hours

A soft kiss, very light

You rode away

Because buildings were more important

Your agenda always was

After the wait

Nothing really changed

But time

Not your smile

Not the spark

Not the hope

And I curled up alone to sleep

Like so many nights

Wanted to just touch your face with my fingertips

But you’re not mine

Wanted to wrap up your feet and warm them on mine

But you’re not mine

And I’m humbled

That joy still comes in the morning

Even after the wait

And mercy feels fresh

And these things I can also feel

And after the wait

I will forget again someday

Because you prefer kisses on safari

And visiting monuments

To my whole heart

And I don’t know why God allows such a wobbly love

An asymmetrical love

To go on

But it does

Because you know I was just kidding around

When I said I’d like to marry a rich country singer

He wouldn’t like our music

And he would make me watch action movies

I couldn’t love him

So what am I supposed to think

When you prefer buildings

Over me

But just remember that a building is all sharp glass

Grey concrete

Cold steel

It will never embrace you softly in its arms

And smell of soap and flowerbomb

It won’t ever read you C.S. Lewis or ask how Sam is doing

Now two September twelfths have come and gone

Must be something about that day

And leaving Europe, and you

And I’m sorry the answer didn’t change

Even after five years

I suppose I will go find some buildings to look at, myself

Because they must be amazing

And must bring me joy

And will fill my heart

Right?