dear 13 year old shannon,
1994, when you're 13, is going to be a year of a lot of change for you. you're starting high school at mceachern. you're all grown up, clearly. I would advise you to watch less "my so called life" - it might help you learn how to deal with relationships in a more healthy way in the future. be nicer to everyone - the emo trend hasn't even started yet and you're too middle class to be grunge. those quotes and magazine clippings you tape to your wall - keep that up - you will always save those and look back on them fondly. your mind is being shaped and your love for culture and music is growing. hold your church friends close - they will be the source of your best memories for the next few years. savor every lock in, every youth camp, every wednesday night supper, every frisbee golf game (even though you hate sports) - those were good times.
for the next few years of high school you will make really close girlfriends who will define high school for you. you will not be cool. so stop trying. even though you live in the trendy neighborhood and ride the bus with all the cool people - its not going to happen for you. that's why I'm telling you - hold close to your true friends. try not to cry too hard after geometry class. you will never, ever have to use it again. all you have to do is make it through. but pay extra attention in spanish class - you're going to use that for the rest of your life.
in 1999, as high school comes to a close, you have no idea how dramatically your life is about to change. next up - college. in the mean time, your mom and dad will go through some rocky stuff. but keep up hope, because it's all going to be ok. and that boy you like, the one who is much older - just be grateful for who he is and not try to make it more. he's a good person but not the one. you're way too young for the one.
you'll pick young harris college because it looks... manageable. 500 people. small town. methodist school. not too far from home, but not too close. it looks like a good fit - and it is. the next 2 years are full of pure joy. easy classes, good grades. amazing friends. lots of naps. lots of beautiful, memorable times in the mountains of north georgia. there will be one boy you really like. he will be a great friend, but nothing more, and don't worry, you'll get over it after about a year and a half when you meet someone else who sweeps you off your feet. you'll be president of a service society, and begin to see in yourself the desire to give and help others. you'll go to mexico on spring break, and your heart will be broken.
in the summer of 2001 you'll go back to mexico to be a missionary and build houses for a summer. your first week there will be your 20th birthday. and you'll spend it crying inside your sleeping bag, curled up on your cot inside that mexican church, hoping no one hears you. but, don't worry, in a few hours they will surprise you and have a cake and sing happy birthday and you'll be reassured that you can do this. you can do this. you'll build houses for people who have no where to live. you'll navigate the backroads and alleys of juarez. you'll drive a 15 passenger van, and pack tool kits. you will electrically.wire.a.house. and hurting people will have a new place to call home. you'll learn a lot of spanish there, too. and your love of mexican people, food, and culture will stick with you forever. oh, that summer you meet a boy and have a classic summer romance. you will love every second of it. just be careful not to get caught making out with him in the ministry truck on that vista parking lot.
in the fall of 2001 you'll go to uga. pay attention to that first day in public relations administration class. you'll be sitting next to your sweet friend sarah, having a discussion about how you don't know what public relations is... and then it will be become your career path. but your religion and spanish classes at uga will actually bring you to life and challenge you. always have. you'll spend your last semester doing an internship in downtown atlanta with a pr firm - do good at it. they'll offer you a job. but, you won't take it. surprise! you're crazy. but at this point, you know what god has called you to do. and it isn't trying to get more people to eat popeye's chicken.
2 weeks after you graduate from uga in 2003, you'll move to boone, north carolina. and you'll be there for a long long time - so, settle in. and buy a snow shovel. god has given you a gift to work in full-time ministry helping kids and sharing the gospel with them.
in early 2004, you'll go on your first international trip with this new job - doing public relations for operation christmas child. the trip will be to panama. you'll be back to panama quite a few times - but it will never be the same as this trip. try to remember the names of those girls in the photo. the ones on the hillside who work in the coffee plantations that you give your boxes too. because you will look at that photo every day for long, long time.
at the end of 2004, on a trip to costa rica, you'll meet 2 men who will change your life. one of them is wearing a red hoodie and you can't understand his accent. the other one is playing guitar. one will love you for a short time, the other one forever. but its opposite of who you think it is.
(hint - stick with the guitar player).
since you didn't take my hint - you'll fall madly in love with a boy from england. I don't know what to tell you... just, enjoy it while you have it. because it really is beautiful, that first love. he's your best friend. you will want to give him everything. your whole heart. you will care for one another and support one another. you will float around in a dream for a while, and go on some killer vacations together, too.
in 2006 you will go to cambodia and see things you never thought you would in your lifetime. and later that year, the red hoodie boy will hurt you. you won't be right for a long time. please stop crying. please try to forgive him sooner.
sometime in 2007, you'll visit ecuador and it will be the most beautiful place you've ever seen. and you'll go back. a lot. you'll spend a few years with a broken heart and not understanding a lot of things. you might as well give up earlier, because you'll never know why. try to be agreeable and not let it get you too down, because as much as you try to hide it - people notice. listen to the people who love you and pour words of life into you - like mom, and paige, and bonnie, and romi, and annie.
by 2009 you're fully coming back to life (I'm sorry, but yes, it will take you this long). there will be a few more boys thrown in there, just for fun, but you and I both know you're still not ready. you're really good at your job, but you won't like boone. take lots of drives in the pretty leaves, and throw snowballs, and go on lots of hikes. these are the things you'll miss when you leave. this is the year that god will speak to your heart about what's next. you'll start traveling to nashville a lot for work, then realize that you want it more and more. and god will say go.
the next year, you'll move and start a new life in nashville. it's not easy, but some really nice people will treat you so good that it quickly feels like home. and get ready, because god starts speaking to you, and fast. about a lot of things. and at this point, you just need to work on preparing yourself for the future. for 30 and beyond.
don't be so hard on yourself by always comparing yourself to others. and don't feel like you have to do stuff you don't want to - just say no once and a while. and call your mom when you get home from a trip, or she'll call the police. and write down the thoughts of the moment because you need to remember the promises god whispers to you. and trust them.
love,
almost-30-year-old shannon
