not a trace.

not trace of water when I thirst for you
only darkness when I burn for the sun
all I hear is silence when I ask for song
always fade away when I try to be the only one

I surrender
and I lay down my needs
I surrender
these desires I speak
I surrender
and I open my heart to what will be

not a trace of fair when my bones broke
flows like a river when my hands let go
not an ounce of comfort when I'm holding tight
wrapped in a warm wind when I finally realize
its only there if...

I surrender
and I lay down my needs
I surrender
these desires I speak
I surrender
and I open my heart to what will be
to what you see

{lisbeth scott}

"The best thing for being sad," replied Merlin, beginning to puff and blow, "is to learn something. That is the only thing that never fails. You may grow old and trembling in your anatomies, you may lie awake in the middle of the night listening to the disorder of your veins, you may miss your only love, you may see the world around you devastated by evil lunatics, or know your honor trampled in the sewers of baser minds. There is only one thing for it then — to learn. Learn why the world wags and what wags it. That is the only thing the mind can never exhaust, never alienate, never be tortured by, never fear or distrust, and never dream of regretting."-from The Once and Future King by T.H. White

elizabethtown.

I'm having a renewed love affair with all things elizabethtown these days. watched the movie again. listening to the soundtrack all day (ryan adams love fest). it's a top 5 movie for sure. agree?

Drew Baylor: You know, there is nothing greater than deciding in your life that things maybe really are black and white! And this guy Ben, who clearly takes you for granted, who serially takes advantage of you, is bad! And what I'm saying is good! See what I mean? You shouldn't be the substitute for anybody. This guy should be right here, right now, doing this. [kisses Claire]

lately.

I've not been blogging a lot lately. there are many things on my mind, but things that I wanted to step back from the keyboard and work out in my head and heart, and not in written words.

in the quiet and rest, God is speaking.

I've found in my life, and many know this to be true, that when we are hurting and broken is when we cling to God more. I feel like sometimes God keeps me in permanent state of brokenness just so I'll choose to hang around Him more. I hate that, but also understand it at the same time. He wants me to choose Him first, always. and I rarely do.

it's hard for me though... usually just when I am feeling up, happy, fulfilled, on the right path - He sends things crashing down around me to remind me that I have no control over a single moment, a single breath.

but He is good. He remains faithful to restore my spirit and strength.

over the past few weeks I have been dealing with shattered hopes. (well honestly, over the past few years, I have been dealing with that, off and on.)

you know the feeling, like chicken little, when the sky is falling all around you. everything you once thought was up, is coming down.

so, me and God have been having lots and lots of long conversations. late at night, early in the morning, throughout the day, climbing hills, running trails, cleaning my home, driving through the mountains. days full of conversations.

and He has been speaking. and I want to share with you what He said.

don't get me wrong. He doesn't "talk" to me that often. it usually takes me a long time to discern His ways and His plans. usually multiple people have to tell me, and show me. usually I don't believe them still. and then God usually has to take some drastic action to show me what's up.

usually.

this time though, I can feel His voice, peaceful in my heart.

He's saying that He has this under control.
there is nothing that happened, is happening, or will happen that He did not plan for.
He is in the midst of it all.
He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together.
and the timeline of it all (one of my biggest grievances)... more than anything, He has planned the timeline.
He has ordered the steps.

he is comforting my heart. telling me not to worry. not to be anxious. He has this.

and when I forget (read: everyday), He reminds me again.

tanzania.

one month from today I am leaving for tanzania!

I'm so excited to travel, since it's been about 8 months since I've been out of the country. I'm getting antsy for an adventure.

so privileged to be going with world vision. I was invited as part of my work as a ministry partner with them. we're going to see child sponsorship projects, and lots of other programs that world vision oversees in tanzania.

I can't wait to get my arms around some little darlings.

running.

i run
from pain
i run from prejudice
i run from pessimists
but i run to late
i run my life
or is it running me
run from my past
i run too fast
or too slow it seems

when lies become the truth
that's when i run to you

this world keeps spinning faster
to a new disaster
so i run to you
i run to you
when it all starts coming undone
you're the only one i run to

{lady antebellum}

pin this.

in other news... I am recently addicted to pinterest.

it's like twitter, but just for images.

I can visit the world, decorate homes, be inspired by great words, and dress myself 1,000 times a day.

check me here.

cabin session.

a kozee family bluegrass jam session.
june 5, 2011.
high five cabin near mineral bluff, georgia.
mike kozee - banjo
mark kozee - guitar
tani loyd - vocals